2010-2011

近两天依旧是宅生活,新年伊始,看上去并没什么不同。说了要写的年终总结,总是没有个完整的想法。我的写作总是不够好。

新年第一天收到了Rhine同学寄来的日历,这是我2011的第一份礼物,很是惊喜,很是感谢。

2010每月关键词:
1月  岭南
2月  坑
3月  论文
4月  论文
5月  鸟市
6月  毕业
7月  南疆
8月  熊猫城
9月  胶东
10月  动荡
11月  融入
12月  家

2010始于岭南又终于岭南。非常意外。我本来以为自己此生和岭南只会擦肩而过。本来以为自己会在鸟市安居乐业,安心认命。

这一年值得欣慰的是,我终于明白了自己想要什么,明白了有很多理想的状态是永远无法达到。什么是生活,什么是自我,什么是值得和不值得。如果说学生的时代大多是被动地去接受一切,那么我终于开始争取主动了。

然而也是有代价。比如说我喜欢教师这个职业、高校的环境、新疆人民的热情大方;比如说我不忍看到师父的失落,又不知道能做点什么该说点什么。也许像M说的,只有专注去发展自己,才能给予那些你在乎的人和在乎你的人更好的前景。

无论境况如何,我总说会好的。预则立,信则灵。

2011,我开始习惯过自我的生活,把工作和生活完全隔离开来,下班后可以随心所欲,安心做宅男或独自出游。我开始想一个人一条狗,在风景如画的吉大一住就是一辈子。

新年到来那一刻我在窗前看澳门沸腾的焰火,夜空中飞过航班和孔明灯,而周围却如此安静空灵。不由得心里默念,愿这是平安喜乐的一年,愿我关注的人和关注我的人一切安好。

It’s gotta be brilliant.

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