3.26

鼠国之行几乎和某次做的梦一模一样,原来去年的熊国之行只是个误会。

回来的感受也一样,烦躁不安。澳门上空的云层无比之厚,落地后阴雨绵绵不见天日,一年中最差的季节还没过去。

好像六年前从蜀国回鸟市的心情。

人生就这样决定了么?这个问题第一次是李7问起,当时我喝着小酒吹着海风,含含糊糊表达了对这里猪一般生活的赞美之情。这次在鼠国第二次被人问起,我还是喝着小酒吹着海风,含含糊糊表达了自己不想换份职业从头重来的想法。

可是我并不想当一头猪啊。再说这两年的实际状态更像一条狗:衣食无忧,没有存在感,时刻想吐,时刻想跳槽又无处可跳。虽说我不介意我的四十五十还是这样,可总觉得缺点什么。

曾经以为自己要在岭南温吞地混到退休,然后找个四季分明临海干燥的地方安度晚年。但是想想当初从鸟市离开的坚决和不甘心,究竟是为了什么?如果只想安逸地混着,为啥不留在新大?

当周围的一切在眼中变得low起来,再不跳起来,就得沉船了。所以——决定了,撤。决定的那一瞬心中晴空万里,尽管窗外依旧雾霭重重。

嗯,鼠国,明年此时,等我登陆。

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